What Matters in Giving is What the Receiver Feels

Today our guest post is from President Henry B. Eyring, only he doesn't know it.  :)  But, I'm sure that he'd be happy to have us share as this is truth and is a precious memory from his own life.

I read this talk several years back and it changed my life.  His statement "what matters in giving is what the receiver feels' caused me a great deal of pondering.  I'd been the recipient of many gifts over the years and always tried to be a gracious receiver, but, sometimes, they were things I didn't need, couldn't use or honestly didn't have room for, but, I was grateful for the kindness and thoughtfulness of the giver who usually intended well and I always tried to express gratitude for their thoughtfulness.

But, during some of those times I truly was in-need of things; basic items of necessity.  And, I wondered why people didn't see what was needed or even ask what was needed (I was single parent of three who often went without basic things that they truly were in need of.)

Anyway, this talk inspired me to try to do better for others', to watch for or ask what could be of use to them.

I'm a big believer that many people have way too much stuff and some people don't have enough.  How can we do better, all of us, to make it so that have-nots can have and those who have so much that they don't know what to do with it - can be blessed in the giving?  Law of Consecration

Anyway, here is the story of a true gift and how it blessed Henry and his family.  It's worth the read and the pondering.

In his own words:

I’ve always had a daydream of being a great gift-giver. I can picture someone opening my gift with tears of joy and a smile, showing that the giving, not just the gift, had touched a heart. Others must have that dream, too, and many are likely already experts in gift-giving. But even the experts may share some of my curiosity about what makes a gift great.

I’ve been surrounded by expert gift-givers all my life. None of them has ever told me how to do it, but I’ve been watching and I’ve been building a theory. My theory comes from thinking about many gifts and many holidays, but one day and one gift can illustrate it.

The day was not Christmas, or even close to it. It was a summer day. My mother died in the early afternoon. My father, my brother, and I had gone from the hospital to our family home, just the three of us. Friends and family came to the house, and went. In a lull, we fixed ourselves a snack; then we visited with more callers. It grew late, dusk fell, and I remember we still had not turned on the lights.

Dad answered the doorbell. It was Aunt Catherine and Uncle Bill. When they’d walked just a few feet past the vestibule, Uncle Bill extended his hand and I could see that he was holding a bottle of cherries. I can still see the deep-red, almost purple, cherries and the shiny gold cap on the jar. He said, “You might enjoy these. You probably haven’t had dessert.”

We hadn’t. The three of us sat around the kitchen table, and put some cherries in bowls, and ate them as Uncle Bill and Aunt Catherine cleared some dishes. Uncle Bill asked, “Are there people you haven’t had time to call? Just give me some names and I’ll do it.” We mentioned a few relatives who would want to know of mother’s death. And then Aunt Catherine and Uncle Bill were gone. They could not have been with us more than twenty minutes.

Now, we can understand my theory best if we focus on one gift: the bottle of cherries. And let’s explain our theory from the point of view of the person who received the gift: me. That’s crucial, because what matters in giving is what the receiver feels.

Read full story here

All Things Centered in Christ; Appreciation and Testimony

In our Old Testament Sunday School lesson on Sunday I read a message from the manual that all things in the scriptures are Christ-centered.  My reminder that our homes, lives, and families should also be was a prompting from the Spirit for me to share.  As we go about our daily lives and tasks are we living that way?  Perhaps it's 'easy' to forget but it's vital to our salvation as well as peace and happiness in this life.  There is no other way.

In my studies I came across this beautiful message of Gratitude; Appreciation and Testimony, from Elder Neal A. Maxwell, in response to his call to the Twelve on April 6, 1974.  I found it to be a powerful personal reminder to me and for us all.

May we reflect, during this special Easter season, on all the things we have to be grateful for.  Most are not 'things' but rather gifts of the Spirit and the blessings of membership in His church.  May we be witnesses of Him is my prayer.

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Brothers and sisters, my verbal moment is not for sermons but for appreciation, not for doctrine but for testimony.

Appreciation for the Lord’s call through President Kimball.

Appreciation for your sustaining vote which was not vindication but an invitation—an invitation for me to be and to do better.

Appreciation for humble parents who both told and showed me that the gospel and Church are true.

Appreciation for a splendid woman, Colleen, a wife for all seasons, who has made our home a haven.

Appreciation for a missionary son in Germany and three daughters and a son-in-law in whose behalf, as a father, I deeply wish to succeed and whose vote to sustain me must count double in the days that lie ahead.

Appreciation to President Kimball for his example not only as a bold prophet but for his and Sister 

Kimball’s tireless practicing of “pure religion, undefiled.” (James 1:27.) The President’s greatness is the kind which is not conscious of itself. He truly desires not our adulation but our affirmation by how we live.

Appreciation for the tender tutoring of President Harold B. Lee.

Appreciation for Presidents Tanner and Romney and Benson and the Twelve, whom I hope to assist, and each of whose lives reflects divine design that prepared them for their appointed place, for God is never surprised.

Appreciation to all the General Authorities who travel so tirelessly to teach us all, leaving their families without complaint. This reality was summarized well by the wit that was also wisdom of Richard L. Evans; who, one day on the way to another plane and another weekend of conferences, said gently, “Have you ever gotten homesick on the way to the airport?”

Appreciation to the members of the Church who have helped me in the Tremonton, Ogden, and Reno regions, and to my sweet colleagues, the Regional Representatives of the Twelve, especially those whom the Lord has raised up in other nations of the world.

Appreciation to the devoted colleagues and students in the Church Educational System in 50 countries who number one-third million.

Endless appreciation to Jesus Christ for his atonement, realizing that included in the awful arithmetic of that atonement are my sins, and for the eloquence of his example, and for the witness he has given me which I have happily borne in about 35 countries, for when one sees life and people through the lens of His gospel, then one can see forever.

Endless appreciation to my Father in heaven whose blessings depend upon our obedience, but whose ratio of blessings to obedience makes him a generous God!

I know the celestial criteria measure service, not status; the use of our talents, not the relative size of our talent inventories. I know that Church membership is not passive security but continuing opportunity.

Finally I testify that what a wise man wrote is true: “If you have not chosen the kingdom of God first, it will in the end make no difference what you have chosen instead.” Having so chosen, may God bless us all to move the kingdom along, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Response to a Call

Importance of Gratitude

Today I've been thinking about the Importance of Gratitude.  Our dear Bishop was released last week and another put in his stead.  We have loved this man and he has blessed our lives tremendously.

As a single-parent I often rely on the leadership and strength of others' to help me raise my children.  Our Bishop was one of those.  He counseled with my children, helped me send one out on an LDS mission, helped another (son) to prepare by hiring him to work for him and mentored him side-by-side.

So, today my heart has been filled with gratitude for this man as well as for all others who have crossed my path and made it a little easier to tread.  It's been a rocky one for us and we are grateful for those who have lifted us with kindness and love.

It's our desire to do that for others.

I recall the statement 'Be Kind to everyone for you know not what burdens they are carrying'.

Gratitude helps me feel better.  It helps me look for the good in others and see the beauties around me that a loving Heavenly Father has created.

Today is my Birthday. I give Thanks!

I don't walk around telling people that it's my birthday.  In fact, I'm a private person and do not like the attention.  In past years I've almost dreaded it and hoped that the sadness I felt - would just go away (unmet expectations, disappointments, hardships in life that seemed to linger etc.)  But...today is different somehow.  My perspective has changed - thanks to new insights that have come from some of those challenges.

Today I feel to give THANKS to all those who have made my life better.  I wish to express gratitude for the bounteous spiritual blessings that the Lord has granted to me out of His goodness and mercy.

I share a special thanks to my mother who was willing to bring me in to this world.  Despite the difficulties of raising children (I'm 4th in a family of 8) my parents felt the need and desire to obey Prophetic counsel and provide tabernacles for as many as they could.  It wasn't easy.  But, I wouldn't be here had they not made that decision.  So, for them, I am deeply grateful. (I hope that they are, too.) 

Gratitude Opens our Minds, Gladens our Hearts

Sister Bonnie D. Parkin shares the following: "Gratitude is a Spirit‑filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God. Through it, we become spiritually aware of the wonder of the smallest things, which gladden our hearts with their messages of God's love. This grateful awareness heightens our sensitivity to divine direction. When we communicate gratitude, we can be filled with the Spirit and connected to those around us and the Lord. Gratitude inspires happiness and carries divine influence."   "Gratitude: A Path to Happiness"

Mary Ellen Edmunds - Gratitude

Perhaps some of you have read this wonderful news; Eight new missions are being created in Colombia, Ghana, Mexico, Vanuatu-New Caledonia-Solomon Islands, Utah, Nevada, Russia.

How thrilling it is to see the Lord's work progressing and to know that all over the world people are learning of the beautiful and life-changing truths of the restored gospel.

This morning I've been listening to a beautiful CD by one of my favorite people Sister Mary Ellen Edmunds entitled "Gratitude, The Theory of Relativity".   She speaks of her mission to Indonesia and a little man "Sukimon" (sp?) who lived with others' in a Chinese cemetery in a tiny hut he built by himself with whatever scraps he could find.  On one occasion he sincerely asked her 'Sista - Do members in the rest of the world pray for me?"  She pondered on it - knowing that before her mission she hadn't prayed for him and (like many of us) didn't even know where Indonesia was - and yet, after some careful consideration replied that they certainly did because she remembered that the brethren and some faithful members did.  Then, with tears in his eyes he replied "how wonderful....I pray for them too."